We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
