Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
