He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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