Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
