i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
