Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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