Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
