I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There's even glitter on my cock...
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