Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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