I'm drive I can fine osifer
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
