I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
