Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
