Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize