Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize