There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
