Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
