It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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