I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
