Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
