I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
