ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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