? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize