I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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