Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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