pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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