I cockslap morals
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
