so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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