ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize