soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
