You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
