you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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