Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
