You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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