when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
