I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
