I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
