It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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