wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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