shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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