I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
