So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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