He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize