So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
