Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
