I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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