THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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