he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My vagina just recognized that song.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
