I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
