She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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