Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
