cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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