my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
