i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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