We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
