you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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