I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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