i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
