i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
